by Pastor Wendall Ward
Continued Healing For the Orphan’s Soul
We are continuing and building on Part 1, Healing the Orphan’s Soul. I ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth and give us understanding of biblical adoption and sonship. The focus is recognizing the places where the Father is still bringing healing, not to label ourselves or others. In our lives we may see striving, fear, jealousy, or distance in our relationships. These are simply signals that more healing is needed. We are invited to bring those places into the light of His love. In His love, we can receive the grace of sonship more completely.
Contrasting the Orphan’s Soul and the Spirit of Sonship
The following traits contrast the orphan soul from the spirit of sonship. These show us that our walk with God is a journey into the light of truth. The wise man of Proverbs poetically describes this journey as “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day” (Proverbs 4:18). I invite you to open your heart. As we walk toward God, His light will increasingly manifest and show us the way to healing.This happens through the revelation of your true identity with Christ.
The Path to Understanding Biblical Sonship is a Journey…
From insecurity to acceptance…
The orphan soul often lives out of insecurity and jealousy.
The spirit of sonship lives from love and acceptance.
Those influenced by an orphan spirit often wrestle deeply with insecurity and jealousy. This is because lasting security is usually formed in the context of loving relationships. It can be painful for them to see a biological or spiritual father affirm someone else. But those who walk in the spirit of sonship are becoming secure in the Father’s love and favor. So they can serve with peace in whatever role is needed. They are confident whether they are seen or unseen, celebrated or simply faithful.
From jealousy to joyful celebration!
The orphan soul struggles with the success of others.
The mature son is committed to the flourishing of others.
Those with an orphan spirit may quietly feel threatened when others do well. This is because another person’s success can seem like their own loss. In contrast, those walking in the spirit of sonship are free to celebrate, serve, and help their brothers and sisters succeed. They are not driven by the need for human recognition, but by the steady assurance of the Father’s love.
From striving to resting in grace.
The orphan soul serves God to earn love.
The mature son serves God from a place of acceptance and favor.
An orphan spirit will often cause us to live with constant pressure to prove ourselves. We do this hoping to earn the Father’s love through ministry, work, or accomplishment. But those who live in the spirit of sonship know that they are already accepted in Christ. From that secure place, they find delight in serving others and do so with gratitude and freedom.
From temporary comforts to the Father’s presence.
The orphan soul looks for comfort in outward and temporary things.
The mature son finds comfort in the joy and presence of the Lord.
An orphan spirit may drive us try to quiet our loneliness, alienation, and lack of self-worth. This manifests through constant activity, unhealthy relationships, physical gratification, or self-focused living. Yet these things cannot truly heal the deeper ache within. In time, they often leave the heart even more empty. Only the love of the Father can fill the deepest emotional needs of the soul.
Those walking in sonship learn to remain in the presence and love of God and draw strength from the joy of the Lord. They understand that building their identity on anything other than God will never provide a secure foundation.
From driven success to Spirit-led calling.
The orphan soul is driven by the need to succeed.
The Spirit leads the mature son into calling and mission.
Many people pursue accomplishment in life or ministry because they are still longing for a father’s approval. This can leave them driven rather than Spirit-led. Even leaders may overextend themselves or place heavy burdens on others because of hidden feelings of inadequacy. They may hope that visible success will quiet the ache within, but outward achievement cannot heal an inward wound.
Those growing in sonship learn to let the Lord direct their steps. We trust Him to open doors in His time, rather than striving to create our own sense of success.
From using people to serving people.
The orphan soul can use people to fulfill personal goals.
Mature sons serve people for the sake of God’s kingdom.
Those shaped by an orphan spirit may begin to treat people as “a means to an end” trying to control situations or relationships to accomplish their goals. When this happens, manipulation can quietly replace love. Mature people who walk in sonship do not use others. Instead, they serve, encourage, and release people to pursue their God-given calling in Christ.
From repelling to compelling.
The orphan soul tends to repel children.
The spirit of sonship draws them near to the Father.
Leaders and parents carrying an orphan spirit may live in constant striving, tension, or inner turmoil. This can leave spiritual or biological children feeling as though they are competing for love rather than receiving it. Over time this can create distance and weaken influence with the next generation. But those who walk in sonship carry something of the Father’s heart. Children are often drawn to their care because they sense the voice of a shepherd who genuinely loves them.
From anger to trust.
The orphan soul is often marked by anger and outbursts.
The spirit of sonship rests in the Father’s ability to lead and hold the future.
Those with an orphan spirit often struggle with anger. They may have outbursts, or other controlling responses because they feel they must manage people and circumstances to feel safe or fulfilled. Beneath that struggle is often a lack of trust that the heavenly Father can guide and hold their future.
Those walking in sonship are learning to rest in the Father’s care. They no longer must live by constant self-effort but can trust Him to work in and through their lives.
From competing with others to blessing others.
The orphan soul lives in competition with others.
The spirit of sonship delights in blessing others.
Those with an orphan spirit often measure themselves against others. They may compare themselves to family, church friends, or business partners because their identity feels tied to being better than someone else. But those who walk in sonship are looking for ways to bless others. Since they are already rooted in the Father’s affirmation, they don’t need to compare. Having received His love, they long to share it freely.
From isolation to consolation.
The orphan soul struggles to receive love and acceptance.
The spirit of sonship walks in the love and acceptance of Father God.
An orphan spirit often finds it difficult to love and receive love with grace. Those walking in sonship are filled with a sense of divine love. This acceptance that allows them to live with quiet confidence and joy in the Lord. In spite of recognizing their ongoing need for His mercy and grace.
From false identity to secure adoption.
The orphan soul looks for identity in possessions, appearance, and activity.
The spirit of sonship is grounded in adoption and the Father’s affirmation.
People with the spirit of an orphan often keep reaching for success. The focus may be their career, their possessions, pleasure, or relationships to fill the deep emptiness tied to identity. As a result, they may spend their lives striving for satisfaction through outward things. Sometimes even personal appearance becomes a way of asking to be seen. Seeking outside value, or affirmation because of a deeper wound of insecurity and unmet fatherly affirmation.
The believer who walks in sonship becomes so grounded in their heavenly Father’s affirmation that they can serve quietly. Those who know they are sons rejoice in the success of others, and live without striving for attention. The empty places in the soul begin to be filled by the Father’s faithful and unconditional love.
Conclusion
As we come to the end of this reflection, may our hearts hear again the gentle invitation of the Father. May we hear the message spoken through HIS son Jesus Christ: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT).
Our Heavenly Father does not call us to strive for a place in His family. He calls us to rest in the love He has already given us through Christ. Where the orphan spirit has brought fear, weariness, and distance, the Spirit of adoption leads us into peace. We embrace the sense of belonging, and deep assurance that we are His. And as we learn to live as beloved sons and daughters, may the healing love of the Father flow through our lives. May we minister to others who are still longing to know they are seen, received, and safely at home in Him.
Prayer
Father, heal the orphaned places within us. Teach us to live as beloved sons and daughters, secure in Your love and free to love others well. Amen.
For More Healing Scriptures
Here are a few Scriptures that provide a background for embracing our status of sonship. There are many more verses that you can explore as you continue to “search the Scriptures” to find the true identity you possess in Christ. As you meditate on these traits, I encourage you to write in the margins your impressions and any Scriptures that may come to mind.
Ephesians 1:3-6 NIV… “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he CHOSE US in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”
Romans 8:12-17 NIV… “Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation — but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14 because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs — heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
Galatians 4:4-7 NIV… “But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, 5 to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. 6 Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”
1 John 3:1-3 NIV… “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be, has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.”
Matt 11:25-30 NIV… “At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26 Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure. 27 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”